What helps with low sexual desire in women? The best tips
Low sexual desire can be frustrating! We show you the best tips and treatment options.
Katharina Heilen · 17 June 2024
You simply do not feel like having sex (any more)? We understand how frustrating that can be for everyone involved. But don't worry! Low sexual desire in women does not necessarily mean a medical libido disorder. Temporary lack of desire can occur depending on the stage of the menstrual cycle and stage of life, and is completely natural. However, if the issue limits your quality of life, persists for an unusually long time or you would like to change it, we will show you the best tips and treatment options.
What causes low sexual desire in women?
Sexual desire and lack of desire are influenced by many factors that often go hand in hand. These are the most common reasons for low sexual desire in women:
Stress and exhaustion
Stress is one of the biggest desire killers! If you constantly feel stressed and exhausted, your body does everything it can to ensure your survival (fight, flight or freeze mode). This uses a great deal of energy, so it restricts all functions that are not essential to survival.
Relationship dynamics
If you feel uncomfortable or insecure in your relationship, this can reduce your desire. Emotional connection and attraction must also be strong enough for you to experience desire. Communication problems, different sexual needs or a lack of trust can cause low desire.
Hormonal imbalance
Hormonal changes occur in every woman's life, and that is completely normal. Desire for sex can change in connection with the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, childbirth or menopause.
Physical causes
A weak pelvic floor can make sex feel less intense, which may reduce your desire. A weak pelvic floor can be trained, for example, with the MyPelvi pelvic floor trainer in sessions lasting just 22 minutes – without any exertion.
Go to the MyPelvi pelvic floor trainer
Psychological causes
The reasons for your lack of sexual desire may also be psychological. If you notice depression, anxiety, traumatic experiences, body image issues or low self-esteem, we recommend contacting a professional. You are not alone, and these underlying causes can be treated.
Lifestyle
Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, taking medication or an unbalanced diet can affect your level of desire. Excess weight, lack of exercise or medication can also reduce your sexual desire.
Physical conditions
Metabolic disorders such as diabetes or an underactive thyroid, as well as cardiovascular, kidney or neurological conditions, can lead to low desire in the bedroom. Together with doctors you trust, you can rule out physical conditions.
A temporary lack of sexual desire is entirely natural. However, it is not an inevitable consequence of ageing and can be overcome.
Which hormone is lacking when a woman has low sexual desire?
Hormonal balance plays a crucial role in whether a woman experiences sexual desire or not. A testosterone deficiency can affect libido and be a cause of sexual aversion in women. A lack of estrogen and androgens can also dampen the libido and lead to vaginal dryness.
Which vitamin is lacking when sexual desire is low?
You may have heard that a vitamin deficiency can lead to loss of libido. According to one study, the hormones most commonly associated with low sexual desire in women are vitamin D and vitamin B3 [1].
The twice-administered intramuscular injection of vitamin D (300000 IU) at the beginning and after four weeks of this study had a significant effect on female sexual function.
Taking vitamin B3 at 1500 mg daily for 12 weeks also showed a significant effect on erectile function. The results also demonstrate that vitamins A, C and E have no significant effect on female sexual function [1].
Tips for overcoming low sexual desire in women
Do you want to overcome your lack of sexual desire? Be gentle with yourself and give yourself some time to try the different tips and options.
Explore and communicate your wishes
You may find it helpful to talk to trusted friends about what they like or dislike in bed. Reading erotic books or listening to podcasts can also give you clues about what awakens your desire. Masturbation is a good way to begin exploring yourself without pressure. By becoming aware of your preferences, you can express your wishes, foster intimacy and enjoy new experiences. Misunderstandings or unspoken expectations, on the other hand, can lead to tension that has a negative effect on sexual desire.
Nurture the relationship outside the bedroom
Feeling desire at the push of a button? That's not always how it works. To let yourself go, a healthy, respectful, and supportive relationship outside the bedroom matters — and it can have a positive effect on your desire. Do things together, be there for each other, and enjoy your shared free time away from the bedroom.
Train your pelvic floor
Did you know that the strength of your pelvic floor muscles can be one reason for a lack of sexual desire? Regular pelvic floor training can strengthen your muscles and help you experience sex more intensely. The most effective and easiest way to integrate pelvic floor training into your everyday life is through 22-minute training sessions at MyPelvi or a partner location. Using magnetic impulses, the MyPelvi chair triggers up to 25.000 contractions of the pelvic floor muscle, reaching even the deepest muscle layers. At the same time, pelvic floor training has a positive effect on blood circulation and can promote desire without requiring any effort from you. You simply sit on a chair in your everyday clothes and lean back.
Enjoy self-care
You are probably someone who is always there for everyone. But are you also there for yourself? Do something good for yourself, for example through personal care, exercise, relaxation techniques, nutrition, massages or reading a book. By allowing yourself these moments and taking care of yourself, you can increase your desire. Avoid stress and take some time for yourself every day.
Seek professional help
If your lack of sexual desire persists and affects your well-being, it may be advisable to seek professional help. Therapists, doctors or psychologists can support you in identifying the underlying causes of your lack of desire and developing suitable solutions – either individually or together in couples therapy.
What triggers sexual desire in women?
One study found that cognitive factors (or, more simply, thoughts during sex) are the strongest triggers of sexual desire.
More specifically, the study showed that the absence of erotic thoughts has a significant and direct effect on sexual desire. A conservative attitude towards sex and medical factors, such as physical or mental illness, had indirect effects on desire [2].
What goes through your mind before and during sex therefore has a major influence on your feelings of desire and is one of the most important factors in how you can stimulate your desire.
A lack of sexual desire can occur over the course of your life and is completely normal. Do not put pressure on yourself, and take the time to rediscover your enjoyment of sex. However, if these phases become more frequent, last longer than a few weeks or affect your well-being, it is advisable to seek medical advice.
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